Category: Relationships

Follow the yellow brick road.

unnamedWhy is it that I have the most motivation and drive at night… I’ve just come off an incredible, healthy, and heartwarming conversation with one of my closest and bestest friends. I thank You, Lord, every day that you brought her and I together. Our friendship means the world to me.

Another friend sent me a text today with a link to a beautiful write-up about getting back on track. My best friend is lending a hand for the next few weeks. I also spent some simple time with a fourth friend today; our time together wasn’t fancy, expensive, or lavish, but the simplicity of having a coffee together, conversing, and just having the ability to spend time with one of my closest friends, is a blessing.

My closest friends and family are aware of my current situation and state-of-mind. The little things mean so much… I have been through a shit load of crap in the last 11 years. I am now beginning to see the direction I need to travel; it is not entirely clear yet, but I know that with hope, faith, love, and kindness, the future is going to be beautiful. Thank you to my friends that touched my path today… I’m on the yellow brick road to creating a life that is overflowing with love, faith, and happiness.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28 NIV
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Relationships take work.

Every morning I wake up to the Elvis Duran show. This morning they were talking about relationships + people taking breaks. Not breaking up, just taking a “break.” They mentioned Lady Gaga + Taylor Kinney (Lancaster’s own!) taking a “break.”

A man called in + said that his wife wanted to take a break. There were kids involved. No rules, guidelines, or anything was set by the man + wife. He sounded sad, hurt, + disappointed.

If there’s anything I learned from my 9-year relationship ordeal, it’s that communication is  key. Any type of relationship, friendships or romantic relationships, need good, clear communication.

Friendships + relationships take work from both sides. It’s not a one-way street.

Another thing I’ve learned is not to be afraid to tell someone how you feel. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

With you, however, I am afraid. Very afraid.

Impact.

I’m honestly afraid for this country with the 2 candidates we have running for POTUS. The way the country + society is evolving with the hate, gun violence, racism, etc – this is not the country that I want to be a part of. Something has got to change, but how does one person actively change the nation, the world?
 
This is something that I’ve always been passionate about; making a difference, helping people, learning about + understanding others, being there for people when they need it, regardless of our relationship. So honestly, sitting here, wide awake at 4:30 am in the morning, how does one person effectively change the world?
 
In reference to my AWTR post, I do believe that people are initially good; however, our society + life interrupt that idea, + influence their behavior. People cheat, lie, steal, mislead, dishonest, murder, etc – humanity as a whole, I believe start off good, but then change over time into people that practice negative + bad behavior. Hence all of the issues surrounding the Presidential election + what’s currently going on in our nation.
So back to my original question… How do I, as one single person, change the world? Answer that.

INFJ.

Did you know that the INFJ personality is the rarest of the 16 personality types? INFJ’s account for only 1-2% of the overall population (though the numbers can vary). 

I know sometimes I can be an intense person, but it’s only because when I am, I’m passionate about it. Whether it’s our friendship, relationship, your music, a goal, the future, a book, a movie, etc. I tend to obsess over things + become very intense. Sometimes it’s overwhelming for people. I think it’d be overwhelming for me if I were you. It’s overwhelming for me, being me. 
Having an INFJ personality, as I’ve learned since I took a personality test as a team building thing at work, is extremely overwhelming, exhausting, + often results in many sleepless nights.

With that said, if you know anything about INFJ’s, it’s that we care. I care genuinely about people, society, + the human race. I care often too deeply, too much, too passionately about things. I always want to see the good in people even when sometimes I shouldn’t bother to. I overthink, overanalyze, + am always in my head constantly thinking about an idea, thought, the future, etc. I’m constantly looking for the meaning of life. I strongly desire meaningful relationships and friendships, connections, deeper conversations. 

I’m either all in with relationships + friendships or all out; there’s no in between, no halfway. I rarely reveal my true self to anyone for fear of getting too close, trust issues, but when I think someone deserves a chance, + I get curious, I reveal myself in layers. I gauge your reaction + see what you think, feel, etc. If at any point in our relationship or friendship, you do something that irritates me or angers me that deserves an ending, door slam. Goodbye. You’re gone. I can’t stand manipulative liars. I cherish honesty + truth. 

I have poor verbal communication. I don’t speak enough, but listen well. I’m stubborn. I don’t like mundane or boring. I’m empathetic.  I need more alone time than most people. My intuition is strong; I can read you well + usually know when something is wrong, I feel in my gut. I’m such a perfectionist + a procrastinator. Either passionate or indifferent. A true walking contradiction. 

Respect.

In the two years that I’ve been single, I’ve talked to many guys – two of which we both had a mutual interest in each other, one maybe (that’s still up for debate), + one I did go on a date with. And each and every time they fell off the face of the planet. This is not okay, guys. I am sick + tired of dealing with this crap and I certainly don’t have time for it. 

It’s not respectful. If you have any respect for me and are the least bit considerate, you’d at least give me an explanation, even if it’s a little white lie to make me feel better. It’s better than going from things going well to just completely disappearing.

Read this article, guys. This sums things up pretty well.

Don’t piss me off or you’ll get the door slam. I don’t have time for people who don’t have consideration for others.

Goals.

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post. In all actuality, I’ve been pretty busy with my day job, and my music journalism on the side. My writing for That Mag is what keeps me going — aside from music itself (because if you know me in any capacity, you know that music is my all consuming passion) — I don’t think it’s been until since I began writing for the magazine that I realized just how much I wanted to pursue a career in music journalism.  I think that burning desire has grown on me tremendously even in this year alone, but definitely since Launch. Attending a music festival for pleasure to see cool bands is one thing, but then when you hear music industry professionals speak, and meet them, it’s completely different.

I’ve been fortunate enough to speak with some really incredible artists, forge relationships, and make new friends with these musicians because of writing for That Mag. I don’t want them to see me just as someone who’s giving them press, but as a fan, a human being, an equal. Professional relationships are incredibly important, but I don’t want to be fake, and say, “Oh, I love your music. Your sound is fantastic! You give off such a raw energy and your stage presence is off the charts!” if I don’t really feel that way. If you’re an artist and I’ve come up to you after a performance and given you praise, it’s because I truly believe it, and you deserve it. Each artist I’ve worked with has had something special going for them; whether it be their unique sound, live performance, instrumentation, vocals, etc. I want to be doing this because I truly and honestly have a passion for music.

When I say I live and breathe music, it’s true. I wake up to music, drive to work to music, listen to music throughout my work day, drive home to music, and fall asleep to music. I know it annoys my family, but I can’t help what I enjoy, what my passion in life is.

I need to learn more about networking, pitching story ideas, and trying to build a sustainable career in music journalism because the industry is so incredibly difficult. It’s who you know. I think attending Launch and mingling with some of the people there kind of helped me in a way break out of my shell because normally I’m not an outgoing, people person, but you get me to start talking about music, and I could talk forever. It was like being around strangers that all had the same passion.

So if you’re reading this, if you have some advice, music conferences that are decent to attend, any help you could provide with pitching story ideas, etc, it would be greatly appreciated. Anything I can within reason to get ahead and get my name out there.

I’m not a groupie, I’m not someone who’s going to go do anything immoral to get ahead like some people I’ve heard have done, so forget that. This is pure passion, pure driven, motivation, hard work, blood, sweat and tears kind of work. Music is my all-consuming passion and it would be a disservice to myself not to follow my heart and reach for the moon.

If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.